Recently I asked one of my friends – have you ever thought about this question? Who am I?
The friend said, why, I am a human being. Did you expect something else?
I said, yes, I really did.
The friend shrugged his shoulders and made a gesture to me – the use of posture clearly indicated what he had thought about me – an insane!
Still, I stick around the same answer – yes, I did expect some other answers apart from the most common one – I am a human being.
Well, what would I say if I were asked the same question?
My answer would be – I don’t know.
Believe me, I really don’t know, who am I?
At least, I am not “as simple as the single answer” – I am a human being.
Think about my origin. My father and my mother met – yes, physically; and at that time I was nowhere. I came into my mother’s womb. I had no shape at the beginning. I got a shape, grew up and I was finally born as a child.
It was a coincidence; my father and my mother had met one day or maybe night; I frankly don’t know. My birth was a pure accident. In the year of 1965, when I was born, science was not particularly that advanced so that you could have planned a test tube baby. So, it happened at the same time, in a surprising way. There was randomness, chaotic arbitrariness.
However, I see many methods in that madness.
If there was no method, I couldn’t have crossed 52 and moving towards 53. I didn’t create those methods. Yes, there is considerable uncertainty about my future. It can stop any time.
Let me try to find that answer first, who had created those methods, who had designed it that I was born in that way? Well, the most common answer that comes to my mind – you guess it correctly, God.
I searched the dictionary and found “God” is a singular noun. In some religion, the definite article “the” cannot be used before this noun. If God created the “method”, who had created God? According to the dictionary, it is a “singular noun”; so it is most probable, we have created God and in the name of God, we do business; kill animals and humans; create divisions among fellow humans and sometimes we search for peace and find it too. Very chaotic indeed!
A section of us believes that fear made God. I am not ready to accept such ready-made answer. Fear made many more things including anxiety, aggression, madness and many other psychological complexities.
Somebody is whispering in my mind, take it easy baby; stop searching the answer – who am I?
Better, you confess that you really don’t know – who you are.
So I’ve decided to conclude and I go back to the starting point of the infinite loop where I said – I don’t know, who I am.
Do you know who you are?